A Deaf OHSET Mom's Struggle

I am a Deaf mom. I am 46 years old. I have two mature teen daughters that live with me 24/7. I am also divorced. I work for many part-time employers. My ex-husband, who is hearing, supports the kids' interests in horses. There are good things and bad things about it, of course - just like everything else. I enjoy helping my kids out with their interests - horses, art, animes, etc. I was a homeowner (ex-husband and I shared assets for 4 years) and now I am renting an apartment, It is quite an adjustment. I wanted to rent a house, condo, or a townhouse with a garage because my daughter is interested in cars. I'd like to support her with that by having a garage.

Besides my daughter's interest in cars, my daughter is on Oregon High School Equestrian Team (OHSET) in our area. I love OHSET as it is a great organization for any teenager to be in (high school-aged students) that offers plenty of growth opportunities - character development, psychosocioemotional development. Great place for HS students to develop their persona and be able to manage their well-being, emotions, and time management.

Unfortunately, my daughter's school OHSET coach/advisor has a tendency to complain to anyone and apparently yells at just the four of us. It doesn't make our experience with the school OHSET (many schools have OHSET) favorable or positive. I have asked a lot of questions to the coach over emails to learn about OHSET as I am new to them this year. It appears to me that it irritates the coach because she said that she noticed that she already said this and that and didn't get through to us. Then we all (myself, kids, and my kids' Dad) make mistakes or forget things then we get yelled at. So, I wrote an email in a high level of politeness asking for a reduction in tension and said many positive things about her and OHSET and that I will do harder to do better (I am extremely a busy person). But instead, she ask every team member (small team) if there were any tensions or favoritism. I find it interesting that she used the word - favoritism. When I read that word in her response to my email, I realize that it's probably why my kids and their Dad did not feel that they fit in. I guess it explains it.

We were yelled at more than several times. I noticed that my message didn't get across clearly and ended up with some misunderstandings. I had to be straight with the coach and texted her "I hate doing this but I need to get this out of my chest. stop yelling at us". Of course that burned the bridge. I find this sad and clearly, it is not something I want to happen but it did. I also think I drew a line? I think boundary is important. I also think I could have done it differently such as I would feel more comfortable if we were not being yelled at for every mishaps or when we forget something. 

It is so difficult for me as a mother trying to make things better. I guess the lesson I have learned from this is to accept how the coach is. It is very difficult for me to keep things to myself that are bothering me. How do you keep things to yourself that are killing you? How do you alleviate the hard feelings? I have given time and I was able to recover.

Now, I am in some kind of pain that the idea of moving to a different school in hopes that my daughter can continue OHSET at another school because of housing costs. It's nuts out there. I am not interested in sharing assets with my ex-husband again. He's still a "child" in a 51-year-old body. What are the ways you can manage the housing costs crisis as a single-divorced mother? Being a Deaf person poses an additional challenge because literally, most employers do not hire Deaf people. There are some employers that hire them like colleges (I have a master's degree) or Amazon.